It’s essentially a mix of flashbacks, side adventures, and in-universe prophecy cobbled together as a movie that isn’t downright bad, but also definitely isn’t good.
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A total reboot with zero affiliation with the Guillermo del Toro-directed films from the aughts, this new version of Hellboy tries to have its cake and eat it too – attempting to both be an origin story for the uninitiated, and simultaneously tell a story as though the titular hero is well established. As typically happens when a film tries to do too much, though, it becomes a messy piece of work that doesn’t seem quite sure what it wants to be or who it’s for. It’s essentially a mix of flashbacks, side adventures, and in-universe prophecy cobbled together as a movie that isn’t downright bad, but also definitely isn’t good.
In the times of King Arthur, Blood Queen (Milla Jovovich), the queen of monsters, who has the ability to wipe out humanity through spreading plague, is tricked by Arthur and Merlin and beheaded, though she doesn’t die. Her body is hacked into different pieces, which are scattered all over the world. She vows revenge against humanity before her head is carted off. The film then jumps to the present, where paranormal heavy hitter Hellboy (David Harbour), who is half demon and half human, has been sent to Tijuana to recover an agent gone missing by the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense, headed by Hellboy’s adoptive father Professor Bruttenholm (Ian McShane). The agent has been turned into a vampire, who before being killed tells Hellboy that the end is near. He’s then sent to hunt some giants with the Wild Hunt in England, who betray him and turn on him, believing him to be a future threat that must be stopped. Meanwhile, Gruagach, a hog-like beast, is hunting for the Blood Queen’s body parts.
He kills members of the Osiris Club before Hellboy can save them and takes away the part they were safeguarding. He forms an alliance of sorts with spirit medium Alice Monaghan (Sasha Lane), who was someone whom he rescued from the fairies when she was a toddler and who has gained strange powers because of her brief contact with them, and soldier Major Ben Daimio (Daniel Dae Kim), who can turn into a were-Jaguar. The Blood Queen is fully resurrected and charms Hellboy into believing that he must take up King Arthur’s sword, destroy humans, establish a realm of monsters on earth and rule by her side. Since it’s a comic book adaptation, you know he’s going to reject her offer at the last minute and do the right thing...
Hellboy is written by Andrew Cosby and based on Mike Mignola and Duncan Fegredo's 2008/2009 arc "The Wild Hunt," but it’s hard to fully describe the narrative because it’s so all over the place. It starts with Hellboy (David Harbour) – a demonic hero fighting evil for the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (B.P.R.D.) – battling vampires in Mexico, but then after a brief return home to Colorado he heads off to England to help an ancient order hunt for a trio of giants.
Meanwhile, an ancient evil named Nimue The Blood Queen (Milla Jovovich) is being resurrected by having her long-separated and scattered body parts brought back together… but it’s important to note that is not an element of the plot the film has the protagonist engages with for most of the first hour. Instead, that time is primarily spent showcasing Hellboy’s World War II origins; explaining the global role of the B.P.R.D. and its leader/Hellboy’s father, Professor Broom (Ian McShane); telling the story of young psychic Alice Monaghan (Sasha Lane); and introducing the leads to prickly B.P.R.D. agent Major Ben Daimio (Daniel Dae Kim).
And if you’re thinking that including all of that sounds like it probably doesn’t allow proper room for engagement with what should be the film’s central antagonist, you are entirely correct. Hellboy is a movie that manages to feel both rushed and sluggish at the same time, and the roots of that are in a script that is just all over the place.
Some stuff works in the story, and some stuff doesn’t – and the same could also be said about the movie’s aesthetic and design. Clearly the movie’s pride and joy is the look of David Harbour’s Hellboy, who does look legitimately incredible, as you never doubt its realism for a moment or see too much of the actor underneath. There is also some other great material from the comics brought to life in horrific-yet-wonderful fashion, such as the design of the monstrous and disgusting Baba Yaga (Troy James/Emma Tate). As great as those are, however, not everything is nearly as seamless, and there are clear spots that could have used additional resources or time. The pig-like Gruagach (Stephen Graham), who helps assemble Nimue, is the most glaring example, but the film also suffers whenever anything gets too big or epic, as its CGI really starts to show in a bad way.
Negative as the aforementioned elements are, however, nothing takes the wind out of Hellboy’s sails quite like the number of one-liners and “clever” bits that land with a dull thud and elicit far more eye rolls than laughs. And rather than being an issue with it trying to be too edgy or hip, the real problem is just that it’s not funny. It’s the equivalent of the guy at the party who thinks he’s the most hilarious dude in the room and just keeps rattling off zingers despite getting zero response from anyone around him – and nobody wants to be around that guy. You’d think that this would be something that could have been avoided/mended with the combination of alternate cuts and test screenings, plus maybe a little ADR, but it feels like nobody made the effort.
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